Sharing.:::. The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – I_II – Portrait of a Light Warrior as an Old Man | samkaska

Origen: Sharing.:::. The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – I_II – Portrait of a Light Warrior as an Old Man | samkaska



Sharing.:::. The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – I_II – Portrait of a Light Warrior as an Old Man

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The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – I 

by Georgi Stankov Posted on April 10, 2015

Travis Brown, April 10, 2015

Dear Georgi,

I agree with your latest energy report. I just looked through dream and journal entries on those days, and sure enough the 5th and 6th were hell, and on the 7th I was pulled under in a sudden deep nap, in which I seemed to be bilocating – lucid in the dream, and lucid as a paralyzed 3D body in bed. In the dream body I was in ecstasy and love. When I anchored back into physical I felt on fire, and of course the vibration was intense and otherworldly. I tried to go back ‘asleep’, and made it halfway, with the sensation of going out of body but still present, the typical clicking in my skull and with the frequency augmenting, but had to surrender to my physical return. These trips and the ascension process are exhaustive to my heart and CNS. I feel fried alive, like it’s a success to breathe and not die when the heartbeat is especially erratic and there is the sense of all functional identity stripped to only a detached awareness.

I feel the masses’ eruptions with a sense of personal devastation and hopelessness. It is quite strange that in my daily living I entertain both a future timeline of nothing good happening for me and intensified hardship in this hell, and also the sudden Shift and being absolved from slave-hell once and for all. Seems like with our track record of delays, I ought to live like a psychotic person: betraying my deeper truth (which, in a way, would be to sit here til the money runs out) but in order to plan prudently for indefinite detention in this physical realm. Because, given that at a higher level, there is nothing substantial supporting the matrix, it still perpetuates on the delusions of the masses, which seem ingrained ad infinitum.

One simple example is the collective belief in the dollar. How long has this illusion among all others been a charade, and how long have the mirrors reflected the smoke in this programmed, brainwashed dystopia? My PAT friend (who finds keeping up with the site all too disheartening since we’ve been on the edge for years) describes society like Wile E. Coyote, having run out over the cliff, but not seen down yet, so still impossibly suspended. So when will the collective see the fall below and hold up the sign exclaiming “Yikes!” ? (Someone may have used this analogy recently on the site as well.)

I don’t want to harp on cynicism, but we the PAT really don’t know what effort will be required. Do we think it really matters in the grand scheme of things if all the PAT has to die by LBP overload in order to ascend this planet? Looking back on messages over the years, we have always been told what will get us through to the next hurdle. Otherwise there might have been a subversion of mass suicide among us not by the PTW but by our own weary souls, overwhelmed by the Achilles heel of human psychological frailty.

I cannot look at the state of my process or that of the world, with any hope, except for The Sudden Miracle. Obviously, I know the PAT is together on that sentiment; but the continual question is how to survive for who-knows-how-long as we slide on a massive scale like a continental shelf into the abyss. It is preposterous and profoundly absurd that only a small few of us see the dead-end. The majority is absolutely fucking crazy. Can we blame them? Tough path to wake up and still be embodied in this world! (Like the phrase you used, I wrote in my journal upon awakening recently: “Cul-de-sac. Dead end every time. How will I ever leave this planet?”)

At the end of my rope, I quit my slave job in March, with some savings for a transitional break. I know everything will be OK for me, in the greater sense, and I even trust in the lesser sense as well, come what may.

I affirm that I know I am here for this transition, so “come hell or high water” it must complete. Or maybe I die in the process, which really is also okay, and at this point seems like a blessing of relief.

I apologize for lots of melodrama. I understand this is due in part to my temperament, my exhaustion, my disoriented delirium, and also relieving the exhumed energy of the collective subconscious death-wish. If I must experience it all in this way for the highest good, then so be it. But I most wish for grace and the living light to penetrate our beingness completely so all limitation-consciousness is dissolved with the brilliance and harmony of the higher realms. That we may transfigure at once!

So, come on April ’15! We are rooting for you!

In love, for peace,

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The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – II →

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The Portrait of the Light Warrior as a Young Man – II 

by Georgi Stankov Posted on April 10, 2015

Daniël Akkerman, April 10, 2015

Dear George,

I very much agree with all the latest updates.

I feel like I have reached a turning point. The total rejection of these terrible human conditions have now reached a peak. In the past, it always felt like there was some kind of coping mechanism, which somehow made the reality bearable, although of course not bearable… we complained about it (and rightfully so), but meanwhile the time flew by.

Yet today I look at my life and how it has been for a while. Some small exceptions set aside, it is always the same. Me, alone in my room, fixing all kinds of shit that I was not responsible for in the first place. And I have done my job well.

And no matter how much I have tried to create a better life for myself under these conditions, it is still kind of the same thing. What I ask of All-That-Is is definitely not unreasonable, and could be done easily. Even all those times the ascension had to be delayed. I see no arguments for the contrary. I feel as if I have created a better reality constantly, and the effects would be way more tangible if only there wasn’t some artificial limitation slowing it down.

Loneliness is the biggest part I think… this is a feeling that persists no matter how many people are around me. Many only make it worse.

Inner balance, yes I have that. But there is something else still, I feel like a huge force that shines as thousand suns. It needs counterpoint, some kind of balance. Continually I grow to include this counterpoint that I need… but such a growth changes me, so what I need then also changes. A frustrating process which feels endless. The famous carrot on a stick used by our souls.

It is a commonly thought that these conditions are somehow good, serve some kind of educational / growth related purpose. But if this was ever true, then it is now most definitely not so anymore. All that has been exhausted, and any perpetuation just seems like a stagnant repetition of negative patterns overcome a long time ago. The same applies to anything that can be read in the news these days, even more so than in the past.

Life is more dichotomous than ever. On one hand one’s consciousness is dissolved into the unity of All-That-Is on a constant basis, on the other a part of life is a lonely and dreadful affair that just doesn’t want to phase out, although it should have a long time ago. In a way one can only believe that it is truly over once it fully is, but in another way this mail seems like something I am already looking back at as an eyewitness account of the last days.

Due to a combination of events I am leaving in a couple of days to go camping. Feels like a trip I have to make for some reason. Although traveling with the LBP is of course not a lot of fun, it feels freeing to get out of this place. I might not even have access to the internet much or at all for a few weeks. It doesn’t seem an unlikely scenario: I leave the city behind and the changes sweep in.

Love & Light,

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Portrait of a Light Warrior as an Old Man 

by Georgi Stankov Posted on April 11, 2015

Jerry R James, April 11, 2015

…Thank you Daniel and Travis for your posts. It gave me new hope in the ascension process that two young men have awakened enough to be consciously a part of this process.

How does an old man experience this process differently? 

I think the main difference is I had so many more experiences that needed stripping. I had attained the worldly success in the form of higher education, financial success, business and personal friendships, love and family life experiences. But now all of this is gone for me, where maybe it never existed for these two young men. 

But we are now in the same place with the rest of PAT rejected, alone, broke and experiencing the punishing physical and mental LBP. And the great question of how do we survive until? Until we don’t know when? 

Years ago I was so convinced that we would shortly ascend that I made personal decisions based on this belief. I would not need medical care, even teeth cleaning or money much longer. But the years have passed and this has proven a treacherous path to follow.

 What I do advocate however is to simplify life as much as possible where a minimum amount is needed to survive.

While I may have at best 25 more years to live in the absence of the change we are awaiting these young men may have 60, so the decisions they make have more far reaching consequences. I applaud them and wish I could assure them that we become more confident, more skilled or more adaptable as we are older, but this is not the case for me. 

One of the issues Travis mentioned was that we may not physically survive the LBP. This is definitely a possibility. But I am convinced this would not be a bad thing. In fact the problem of why Anita and others passed is not the issue. 

The problem is why are the rest of us still here?
 Something does not feel right about suicide and I do not advocate that way out. I suffered and am suffering the heightened physical effects of these latest energetic downloads. I never got the high feel good energy days some have mentioned.
 Worse than the physical aspects this time was the mental anguish. At one point I was convinced that no one loved me and never had and if Anita still existed she had abandoned and forgotten me. 

That night I had a lucid dream where Anita and I were children in school again (about 13). I realized that I was back and after finding her I started telling her about what had happened before I was transported back. She turned to me and said “I remember everything” 

So the universe had recognized my anguish this time and gave me an answer that it rarely does. 

I know some use the flames of St. Michael and contact others for relief, but it does not feel comfortable for me. I am not sure who these archangels really are. Are they part of the grid, maybe the archons themselves.

 I know my own power and will not give it away to anyone, and I will continue for however long it takes or I succumb to physical death. 

I am convinced that all that will break this spell is to raise our vibration and we are doing that and it hurts. This hurt however will eventually take us home. My advice to everyone is to let go of all expectations concerning this life or the timing of ascension itself and allow.

 Trust is the only thing we really have left. 

Camping does sound like a great idea Daniel.
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